I feel like I should apologize for that title.
I remember when I was in high school, these ads would come on the top 40 radio station I always listened to and they’d be like, “WEDNESDAY NIGHTS AT CLUB ______, yada yada yada, FOR THE GROWN AND SEXY ONLY”.
Honestly, it always seemed like way too complicated of a club to attend. What if you were grown but unsure of your sexiness? Who was the authority on “sexy”? What if you were definitely sexy but unsure of the point at which you are actually considered “grown”. Is it when you completely stop growing? If you Google “when do people stop growing” this article will tell you that the magic number is most likely 20. So you could be technically grown and definitely sexy and still not able to get into that club because it was 21 and up. That seems stressful. I’d rather just go to a club that was like, “Your belly can hang over your jeans as long as your purchase our drinks that we mark up 400%“.* That’s my kind of club.
I’m sorry. That was completely not the point of this.
Anyway- I’m due for a new coat. I currently have 3 coats in rotation. One is a purple puffer coat that I got on sale from Juicy Couture a couple of years ago, before they became a Kohls brand (RIP); one is a black peacoat that I got from J.Crew about 6 years ago that is now a little baggy in the arm area because either I lost weight at some point between now and then or it was always somewhat-poorly fitting and no one ever had the heart to tell me, and the third is a long, khaki colored, looks-wool-but-probably-completely-polyester coat that I got from H&M in San Francisco 4 years ago. There was a time when I would wear that khaki coat and people would be like, “OMG, that’s from H&M?!?”, and now a few years and few less buttons later, no one really seems to ask anymore.
So should you be in the market also, here are my new favorite coat picks: (Click through photos to take you to the website)
Puffer coats are great. They’re like wearing a fluffy down comforter out in public, and I’m not sure why you wouldn’t want to do that. However! Keep them long. You need the length (and one that tapers nicely in the waist) to avoid looking half Michelin Man-half human lady. Plus, long coat = no cold butt.
Below, a gorgeous (and also $$$$) Moncler, and a pretty and practical puffer from Zara.
Trench coats have been around since the First World War; originally developed as an alternative to the heavy “greatcoats” worn by soldiers in the British and French armies. Thomas Burberry (you may have heard of him) is credited as one of the inventors of trench coat. They are great everyday coats that can be dressed up or down.
My overall favorite is this guy, which I didn’t include because it looks almost identical to the others. // Below, the Holy Grail of trench coats, and a much more affordable take on it.
Cozy, really warm, occasionally itchy. Wool coats sometimes smell like a sheep when they get wet- or maybe that’s just been my experience.
I love that this Eileen Fisher piece looks like a giant sweater but is actually a coat. // Kelly green is a great alternative to the blacks, navys and khakis of the coat world, and you’d be surprised at how wearable it is on a daily basis- This Ted Baker is a great departure from the usual.
I love this black Barbour jacket. The belt creates a nice waistline and the more pockets, the merrier. // The Zara jacket features detachable fur and hood, making it really multi-functional.
Some nice coats that didn’t really fit into my categories above.
The Kate Spade Saturday coat should probably be in the “wool” section, but it’s mostly polyester and I’m not a fan of half-truths. // I’d have a hard time wearing the furry Zara coat without feeling like I was in a Macklemore video, but they are very popular right now, if you can pull it off. // The patterned Zara cape is incredible. I’m not sure how waterproof it is, but you could wear it with most everything you own.
Do you have a favorite coat? How do you feel about the faux fur trend? I’d love to hear from you!
P.S. Let’s be friends on Instagram.
*It is worth your time to click that link. Promise.